The life of a typical woman in China roughly 70 years ago is incomparable with the life of the typical woman of the present day. With the custom of foot binding, a woman's freedom of mobility was restricted and daughters had to leave their parents' homes to marry whomever their parents decided, even if it meant becoming just one of a number of wives or mistresses.
In the past several years, in particular, an increasingly larger number of women are taking up important posts or successfully building huge wealth as entrepreneurs. They are now free to fall in love and marry the partners of their choice. Steps in life such as a marriage and giving birth are no longer barriers for pursuing careers and many women must be enjoying living in the present, where people can freely "earn money."
Nevertheless, the bond linking clan and family members remains very strong and there are still traditions that were fostered through a long history, despite the changes that have radically altered social systems.
One example is the unnaturally high birth rate of baby boys compared with baby girls, which is 120 to 100. The male-dominated tradition that is represented by the idea that boys should succeed families is deeply rooted in Chinese society, even today. The moment one gets married, a mother-in-law will pressure her son's wife to give birth to a boy. Under the Chinese government's policy of one child per family, giving birth is basically a once-in-a-lifetime event. Even if they are not really into it, women try to preselect the sex of the baby even before conceiving, so that they will not have to put up with the complaints from their mother-in-law, which are likely to continue after giving birth. As a result, it is not uncommon for babies to be aborted if they are determined to be female. After giving birth as well, many mother-in-laws will be strict in keeping the family heir under control and keep butting in with unsolicited advice and criticism in respect to the education and attitudes of children. Despite the improved status of women, there is always a "Xi Taihou" (Empress Dowager) reigning supreme.
The common practice in China is that mother-in-laws nag their daughter-in-laws and wives nag their husbands. Chinese families are definitely gynecocracies. It is quite common for women to loudly shout abusive words at men when quarrelling. Nowadays, some women declare without hesitation that they "do not cook at home," while men help with household chores and taking care of children. Three months after giving birth, women will return to their jobs and work as actively as before. Increasingly greater numbers of women are earning higher salaries than their husbands. Although traces of a "male-dominated society" still remain in families, husbands can no longer contradict their wives in real life.
When I get in a taxi, some drivers say, "Are you Japanese? Japanese women are good, aren't they? They don't seem to get angry so much. My wife keeps nagging me day after day about our family, my wages and so on" and their complaints about their wives are endless.
Meanwhile, I hear liberated women in China say, much to my surprise, "If only my husband was more capable, I could enjoy being a full-time housewife." I wonder where these women in China are headed with such a dream.
Written by Hideyo Hayashi
